The Life and Times of O.D. "Mort" Mortland

Orville David Mortland was born on December 7, 1928 to John (“Burt”) and Jessie (Taylor) Mortland. He joined older brother John and sister Margaret on the family’s farm at the top of Cavalero Hill in Everett, WA. Burt worked for the Roads department for the town of Everett, and he and Jessie grew raspberries, corn and Jessie’s prized dahlias.

Orv was a quick learner and graduated a year and a half ahead of schedule, with the class of “1944 and ½” After high school, Dad went to work, taking jobs at Woolworths, a local real estate company and Pacific Car and Foundry. Orv even gave Boeing a chance at his mad skills, but quit after one day because the work just wasn’t interesting enough!



While working at Castle Industries, an airplane parts manufacturer, Orv met his future wife on a blind date at a Halloween Party in 1954. Ann was a teacher in the Everett school district and she found herself “not immediately” charmed by Orv’s quick wit and devoted pursuit. The happy couple were engaged by Christmas and married on June 24, 1955.




Ann and Orv began their family right away – some would say that very night! Stephen David was their first child, followed quickly by Diana Beth, Marcia Ann and Jocelyn Ruth.

Stephen David

Dianna Beth

Marcia Ann

Jocelyn Ruth

Suzann Lauren

Suzann Lauren made her way several years later and the Mortlands stopped at five. Ann and Orv say they would’ve stopped after Dian, but as luck would have it (for Marcia, Jocelyn and Susie!) it didn’t quite work out that way. In fact, six weeks after Susie was born, Ann wrapped her in a blanket and brought her along to the official “cutting ceremony” that would cap the Mortland brood at five.

Orv began working at Magna Design, a furniture manufacturer in Lynnwood, Washington and he would ultimately retire from there in the early 1990’s. Dad made many life long friends at Magna Design, and was respected for his devotion to family, his sense of humor and his amazing ability to calculate large sums in his head. (His kids, however, or, specifically, this kid, remember many nights of help with homework that would give one the impression that his mathematical ability was not inherited!)



The Mortlands enjoyed many wonderful travel adventures over the years, something everyone really enjoyed. A quick inquiry of most remembered family vacations include a road trip to California and the Grand Canyon, car trips to Canada, Lopez Island and many others. Mom and Dad instructed us early on the pleasures of a good campfire, and how to make the perfect S’more – followed by Camp Eggs the next morning! They waited until the kids were old enough to be left behind before traveling by airplane to places like Europe, Mexico and Hawaii.



Mom and Dad figured out early it was more fun to throw everyone in a camper and head out for an adventure than pretty much anything else. These trips would be the beginning of a lifelong dream Ann and Orv realized in 2002, that of driving around the country for a year in their own motor home.


Dad always loved to travel, especially if it meant a chance to fish, shop or wander around! All of us kids can clearly remember Dad heading off to wander the streets of some unknown town or tourist site. Hands in pockets, shoulders hunched, a confident and purposeful stride as he headed off to nowhere in particular. He’d return with a copy of the local paper and maybe even a few donuts for those of us left behind. Orv perfected the art of people watching and making friendly conversation with strangers.

When Orv retired from Magna Design, he and Ann relocated down to the Oregon Coast to open a family restaurant, Puffins at Cannon Beach. Managed by their daughter Marcia, Dad was chief dish and bottle washer more times than I think he would care to be remembered for. The restaurant was another grand adventure in their lives and for the several years it was in operation became a favorite of the locals and earned the Mortlands many wonderful friends and loyal customers. It was at this time that Dad became involved in the local order of the Elks in Seaside, and he and Ann did a fair amount of catering work on behalf of the Elks after their restaurant closed in the late 1990’s. They enjoyed their several years on the Oregon Coast, and their kids and grandkids enjoyed a seaside vacation destination that they will always treasure.


Steve and his wife Kathie gave Ann and Orv their first grandchild, Scott was born in the summer of 1981 and Jocelyn gave birth to Brooke later that summer. Alex joined Steve and Kathie and Scott a couple years later, and Dian and her husband Nigel followed a few years after with Christopher and Brandon.




Several years later, Susie and her husband Jeff became parents with the birth of their son Henry, and daughter Margaret came along a few years later. Marcia brought Karina and her mother Marilu into the family fold when Karina was just a baby, and Marilu recently gave birth to baby Isai several weeks before Dad’s passing. Orv was a wonderful Grandfather (or G-Pa, or Grandpa, or Grandpa Orville) and he treasured each grandchild that came along.

When Orv and Ann decided to hit the road and roam the countryside in a motor home, they did so with classic optimism and pluck. It was the perfect time in their lives to take the trip on. The kids were raised and doing fine, busy with families of their own, the business had been sold and they were free of its responsibilities, and Dad had successfully treated his initial bout of colon cancer with two surgeries and a round of chemotherapy. It was now or never.



Closing up the house in Seaside, buying a second hand motor home and then retrofitting it with a number of highly customized Mort-ifications, these two companionable travelers, along with their dog Fritz, hit the road in May of 2002. The plan was to head east from Seaside, stay in campgrounds along the way and just see the sights. If there happened to be a flea market or craft fair or farmers market along the way, so much the better.


Ann, Orv and Fritz stayed on the road for over 11 months. They traveled east across the northern states and Canada to stay for three weeks in late summer to visit Susie and her family in southern New Hampshire.


After a quick road trip down to New York City with Susie, they continued down the eastern seaboard and settled in Florida over the winter. Turning west and wandering through the Gulf Coast and deep south, they came up through Arizona and Utah to return to Seattle a week early so as to surprise Jocelyn at her 40th birthday party.

Mom updated everyone with a wonderful se ries of emails she sent out along the way, and a family friend shipped them their mail once a month. Ann and Orv spent their days driving or resting or plotting the drive to their next stop, seeing the sights or just hanging out at home. The Full-timers culture suited them to a T and they both fully enjoyed every day. Although at one point, just when Mom was convinced she and Dad had said everything there was to say to one another, they invested in Satellite Radio and “saved the marriage!”



The trip had its peaks (Grandson Chris joins them in South Dakota! Parking the ‘home at Curtis Farm in New Hampshire and heading in to NYC with Susie! Hooking up with Dian in Florida!Decorative Doodads to personalize the Motor home! Niagra Falls! New Orleans! The Perfect Tomato!) and valleys (losing the towed-along Honda while making a right hand turn! Expensive Repairs! Unavoidable Delays! Additional Expensive Repairs! More Unavoidable Delays!). But was it worth it? You better believe it. Did Dad ever, in his entire life, even right up to the last few days of his life, announce a single regret about the hassle and chaos involved? Not once.

As their children, we kids were so proud of both Mom and Dad and their perseverance and their love of life that we couldn’t have been happier and more at peace to have them on the road. Having been driven around by Dad for years prior, we all feared somewhat for those folks they’d be sharing the road with. We had all come to terms with the idea that they could very well get themselves hurt, or worse, while out on the road. Their stayed strong throughout the trip and they returned back to us full of life and vitality in April of 2003.



With a new found appreciation for the little things in life, Ann and Orv settled back into life in Seaside, enjoying their home and visiting family once again, shorter trips up to Seattle and becoming involved again in the Seaside community.

Ann and Orv didn’t raise five kids without learning a thing or two about life, and this trip reinforced for Dad the personal code he ultimately lived up to his dying day, which this quote from Morris West sums up perfectly:

One has to abandon altogether the search for security, and reach out to the risk of living with both arms.

One has to embrace the world like a lover.

One has to accept pain as a condition of existence.

One has to court doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing.

One needs a will stubborn in conflict, but apt always to total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying.

- Morris L. West

Soon after returning from their trip, Orv received word that his cancer had returned. Up until the cancer plaguing him in his final years, Mort had always enjoyed excellent health. Oh sure, there were the perfectly explainable mishaps (rolling the Blazer while reaching for an elusive Butterfinger in the glove box, or attempting to single handedly relocate a boat and trailer with his bare hands – see “Rolling Boat Trailer Drags Man 80 Feet”, Seaside Signal, 1997) and the same standard coughs and colds suffered by every other red blooded American, but overall, his health was excellent, his body a machine.

There are two gifts Mom and Dad gave us kids: a great marriage to grow up safe inside of, and a robust immune system. We could certainly name several dozen more, but those are two of the secrets to happiness we Mortland children enjoyed. Safe harbor and good health.

Over the years, if any of us kids had a friend who needed or felt comforted by Ann and Orv’s special brand of parenting – that elusive mix of support and independence, acerbic wit and unconditional acceptance, why, they were more than welcome to join in the fun. Is it possible that we kids could all name a friend or two of ours that was welcomed into the fold over the lifetime of our family? Are there even some of those lucky ducks reading these words right now?

Diving in to another round of chemo with the classic Mortland optimism, Ann and Orv celebrated Dad’s first day of treatment by adopting a little black dog they named Kimo. Mort continued to receive treatment in Seaside, but they gradually began to realize that they would rather be surrounded by family full time and so the brainstorming began for another of life’s elegant solutions.







In June of 2005, Ann and Orv celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary and their family threw them a big party at their home. It was a beautiful day, and many friends and family came to congratulate them on having made it so far in life. Fifty years is a long time, especially when you throw in eleven months crammed together inside a motorized isolation chamber towards the end of it! But whatever Ann and Orv did, it worked. They made a great team, and it was with a lot of pride and joy that their friends and family helped to celebrate that wonderful day.

Later in the summer of 2005, Ann and Orv made the move back up to Seattle. The house sold, the apartment in Seattle was secured, the garage sales were had, and the move was made. Both Mom and Dad were so happy to be back in the city, the first few months were great fun for them. Lots of rides downtown on the bus, searching out delicious Chinese food, and hooking up with various family members for casual adventures. Several trips to Costco, Muckleshoot Casino, Diamond Lil’s for their $5 dollar dinner deals, and of course the giant Goodwill down on Dearborn. They loved their apartment, the location was perfect, and the relaxed good times of being around their kids full time again was heaven for both of them.

Orv continued to be a voracious reader all through his life, and right up until the end, he was always in the middle of a good book or two. If there were words, Dad would read them. If you went to his home, you knew where Dad sat because there would be a newspaper tossed over the back of the couch, a book open and temporarily set aside, and two or three magazines awaiting perusal. The TV would usually be on, too.

Growing up, we kids watched Dad’s favorite shows like 60 Minutes, Barney Miller, M*A*S*H, All in the Family, Rosanne, and in his later years, (after we kids grew up and moved out and left Mom to suffer his television habits) The O’Reilly Factor. Dad was a devoted sports fan and he watched nearly every Seahawks game that aired on television. Any sport playing on TV was worth watching as far as Dad was concerned – boxing, curling, golf, football, you name it. One daughter remembers being called away from her piano lesson in the other room to stand by the TV and change the channel for him… perhaps this early version of a remote control was one his cleverest ‘Mortisism’ yet!

Running like a thread through Dad’s whole life, was his love of dogs. Seemed we always had a dog or two growing up, and they were usually Dad’s dogs. A little dog or two seemed to follow him where ever he went. Orv was always up for adding a new pup to the mix if the timing seemed right. One time, Dad and Susie picked Mom up at the airport with a Miniature Schnauzer puppy tucked into a box and placed on her seat! Mom was “not immediately” thrilled. Or, rather, Mom knew she had married a dog lover.

It was in November of 2005 that we found out that Dad’s cancer had returned and spread. Our precious father was entrusted to the wonderful care of a leading Swedish Cancer Center oncologist named Dr. Mehmet Fer. Dr. Fer arranged for another round of chemotherapy, this treatment cycle designed mostly to stall cancer growth. The cancer had returned, and it wasn’t leaving, but the chemo Dad endured gave him time, nearly all of 2006 before things took their turns and brought us to where we are today.

I won’t go into details here, but 2007 was a real fight for Dad. Chemo treatment ended for good in November, and Orv enjoyed a brief interlude over the holidays before a neurological problem began to plague him relentlessly. The available treatments were given to Dad, with some success, but in the end it was being able to come to Jocelyn’s house and receive around the clock care from his family that brought him the most peace.

Dad was at Jocelyn’s for the last few weeks of his life. His family gathered around him and cared for him full time, and it was there that Dad began to do the difficult work ahead of him. He had his dogs by his side, his wife and kids, his nieces Annette and Carol coming by nearly every day, and assorted adopted Mortlands coming in to visit. It was a wonderful, magical time for all of us.

Dad had always loved a good party, and even in the last days of his life, his wonderful spirit permeated the house. It was a sad time, to be sure, but also one full of laughter and casual conversation and spirited debate. Just what Dad would’ve wanted. Whether it was sitting in his room and talking quietly with him or others come to visit, or elsewhere in the house, Dad could hear our laughter and the comfort we found in each others company. Which is exactly what being a Mortland is all about.

So thanks Dad. Thanks for everything. You embraced the world like a lover. You accepted pain as a condition of existence, and you courted doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing. You possessed a will stubborn in conflict, but you were apt always to total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying. And best of all, you passed it on.



We love you and we miss you. Happy Fathers Day.

If only he could've been there

We had a party in Dad's honor yesterday. It was a great time. Like I say, (or, as my dad would've said, "As I say,") if only dad could've been there. Lots of laughter and old friends and extended family, black jelly beans and peanut brittle, bourbon and vodka, you name it.

We had the black jelly beans because they were dad's favorite. They're not the favorites of anyone else apparently, because we have about a bazillion jelly beans left over. Another sign that dad was sorely missed yesterday. But I will bring home left over Butterfinger candy bars!

I spent all last week writing a biography of my dad, that I'll post here as well as over at his memorial blog, http://www.odmortland.blogspot.com/ as soon as I get around to it. Hopefully sometime today, but more likely after I get back to new hampshire. Today is a day of rest and cleaning and laundry and computer work, hopefully.

Tomorrow my family and I are taking dad's ashes down to Seaside to scatter them into the sea. Totally what he wouldv'e wanted. In fact, it's Orv approved because at one point in his last week, he wanted us to go over the details of his party and what we would do with his ashes, and he loved the idea. I asked him if I could take some home with me and he liked that, too. Jocelyn will be putting in a hydrangea bush in her garden in memory of dad, and he very likely will fertilize the soil for that, too.

And then on Tuesday, Maggie and I get back on the airplane and return to Jeff and Henry after almost a month absence! The guys back home are doing fine, both parents being ready to pass of the kid they've been with for the last month over to the other. I'm excited to see my big guy (who turns seven on Wednesday!) and my bigger guy (who turns 40 next march!) and my dog and my house and my kitchen and my stuff and my mail and my internet bookmarks - the list could go on and on!)

It'll be strange to come back home with no pregnancy, no daddy, no need for daily phone calls with my mom and sisters about dad and how he's doing, etc. Not really sure how that will feel, but I know it'll be good to be home. This has been a really special time, but I'm ready to be home.

Daddy has a Blog!

Now this is something Dad would've said would only happen over his dead body. :-) We thought it'd be a great way to collect memories and let folks know details about the party on Saturday...

If you have anything you'd like to post to Dad's blog -- a memory or a funny story or whatever, just type it up and email it to me at susie@scrollbar.com and I will post it for you right away!

Thanks in advance!

http://www.odmortland.blogspot.com

Nurse Fritz

The story of Fritz and his devotion to my dad in his final weeks was just incredible. As soon as we got Dad settled at Jocelyn's, Fritz would lay on his bed all day and all night. The only times he'd get off the bed would be to go outside or to sit with my mom while she was visiting. After Dad had been here a week or so, I decided to shave off all of Fritz's hair as the sheer fluffyness of him was too much. He had mats and was shedding and it got to be like an unconsious addiction to gently work free big puffy balls of hair. And he was constantly panting and huffing and puffing. Gross.



So I cut his hair as short as possible, and I did a pretty good job of it, too! His face isn't as perfectly round as it could be, but like I told mom, she paid a fair price for a haircut like that! As soon as he was all finished with his grooming, he was so much more comfortable and cuddly, you could just tell he was thrilled with the results.



We were so curious about whether dad would notice the difference but he didn't at first. A few days later Dad was talking with us about our plans for his memorial and he said all of a sudden, clear as a bell, "Fritz... you look like a rabbit!" He seemed to enjoy the smoother version of his formerly fluffed out Pom.

Thruout the day Fritz would hop up on Dad's bed and circle and nest in a cozy spot between dad's legs. Then he'd sleep there or sit and watch whatever was going on. If we had to care for dad in some physical way, we always had to toss fritz out into the hallway and then listen to him scratching at the door to be let back in. he didn't like being kicked out, but if we didn't he'd make a growling fuss, refusing to get off the bed, making it sort of tricky to do whatever needing doing. it was very sweet.

The weather moved from hot and sunny to overcast and chilly and at some point Fritz began wearing a little green sweater. We had been horsing around a little bit and had outfitted him with a toy stethascope. He looked so damn cute.



Fritz stayed with Dad the whole time, and it was so wonderful to have him there. Because of where the bed and chair beside it were set up, when you were sitting with dad, you could also be practically face to face with Fritz. It was such a comfort to be able to turn to Fritz and have them there, ready to lick and greet you. And when you left Dad alone, you were never really leaving him alone because Fritz was in there with him. Towards the end Fritz was nursing all of us through!

We were all in there for Dad's last few seconds of life, and during that time Fritz moved up to Dad's shoulder almost, right over his heart, and stayed there. It was like he followed Dad's life force or something. like his heart was the last little spot of Dad left and Fritz centered his body right over that spot until it was completely over.

Thanks, Fritz. Good Dog.

The Day After

It was sort of a funny day yesterday. We all gathered at the house and hung out together, talking about everything and laughing at memories of dad. Not a lot of tears, but some.

I will speak for myself when I say I mostly felt a sense of relief and a job well done, and a deep love and respect for everyone. Towards the end of the day I found myself blurting out, "I'm just so surprised that he's gone!" We've been hanging out and having a laugh (and a cry) all thru out this whole adventure, so the idea that Dad wasn't in his room anymore was like a little bubble burst of surprise and shock to me. A few of us reported feeling totally exhausted, like how you feel at the end of a day in the sun and wind. Beat.

We'll be having a party in celebration of dad's life next Saturday, June 16 here at Jocelyns. If you can read this, you are invited! If you can read this, it would be good to see you! Should be a pretty good time, in spite of it all. Email me at mailto:susie@scrollbar.com for details.

Daddy's passed.

My dad died almost a couple of hours ago. It was so beautiful and peaceful, I am so happy for him. We are all doing fine, sitting around feeling sort of stunned and yet comforted. I'll try to write more later.

Thank you for everything.

Wrapping up details

Dad has really been working hard these past few days. lots of talking and planning and working things through. You can tell that he's finally aware that he's leaving, so his first concern is how to get there. Lots of talk about maps and how to get to where to go, etc. He later reported seeing a woman with black hair who was waiting for him, and that she had the map, she knew the way to go, so that was good enough for him.

Early this morning he was requesting his wallet and his credit cards and some cash. We don't have his wallet here, so I showed and let him hold some of the things from my wallet. I showed him my Costco card and said, "I bet you know what this card is!" and he said, "oh yes, that's a costco card. you take that card down to costco and they'll let you buy anything you want!" At some point he said, "They've already spoken to me. I'm not gonna need any money, any cards... You don't see it, but that is a card that is only good in this building. one use..." and so that was good enough for him.

Just a little bit ago, he began to talk about wanting to settle his tab here. lots of talk about wanting to make sure he was all paid up. "I make sure, before we're all thru, that we're all paid up here." I assured him that there would be no bills to pay, it was all paid for. That he'd worked long and hard to pay for it all and that everything was covered, he could relax. Then he said, "These people, on the inside, who would normally not be paid, we oughta at least give them an ice cream cone." I laughed pretty good at that one and suggested that thank you cards are nice too and he heartily agreed.

It's as if he's crossing things off his list that need to be in order before he can even think of leaving. Needs to know where to go, needs to know what to bring, wants to settle up before he goes. It's pretty incredible. And so gratifying to be able to help him in this way. I've been writing things down as he says them (and as I can translate) and then re-reading them once I have them down, and it all seems very clear to me now. I'm so glad he's so calm and involved and not afraid to let us help him. So flattering that he believes me so sincerely when I tell him not to worry about something or help him work out the details. Such a graceful, dignified man.

More later.

Chuckie Sue Retreats.

So Friday night I had a little spotting. In the middle of the night I had more spotting. Lots more. Like a full on miscarriage. :-( At one point in the night I even fainted off the toilet and woke up with my head wedged between the toilet and the bathroom sink cabinet! I managed to flop myself onto the floor, until I was able to pick myself up and get back in bed. Yowzer!

First thing Saturday morning Jocelyn took me to Overlake Hospital in Bellevue where I fainted AGAIN! in the ER! Very scary for Jocelyn to see me passed out and convulsing. I guess I'd lost so much blood my blood pressure was something like 58/35, which is super super duper duper low low low. But I was in wonderful hands over there at Overlake, with my sister by my side, you can be sure of that. I ended up staying at the hospital for over 7 hours I think, and it was so good to get back to Jocelyns, I can't tell you.

My family continues to gather around Dad's side and he seems closer than ever. Seems as if he's finally comfortable with what's about to happen. Which helps us to be, too. Dad has always set such a terrific example of how to handle life, and he continues to do so to this day. He shows us that you need to go through life with a will "stubborn in conflict, but apt always to total acceptance of every concequence of living and dying" (Morris L. West). And that's how I see this retreat of Chuckie Sue. It just is what it is, and I couldn't have prevented it if I'd tried, so get to the business of getting okay with it. So that's what I do.

(To say nothing of the two wonderful, gorgeous children we already have, and the opportunity to pursue things that I had thought would maybe be too difficult, and the nice size of a family of four. And Margaritas again, did I mention Margaritas?)

Update

Daddy is still with us but moving pretty steadily towards the end, and it's just been wonderful to be here. our family has always been dad's heaven on earth and you can tell that as sick as he is, he just doesn't want to leave us. he's got his kids and a wife and assorted other loved ones around his bedside, his dogs sleep at the foot of his bed full time, he can hear our laughter and togetherness down the hall even if we're not in his room at the time, etc. he's just beginning to have pain that requires treatment, sleeps at least 23 hours a day, still no food and only sips of water for something like nine days so far. but he's still here with us. the hospice nurse gave us some wonderful tips about how to help him transition emotionally from where he doesn't want to leave to where he's going whether he wants to or not, and there are enough of us here to share the work so none of us feel burned out or burdoned. it's really been a wonderfully sacred time and I'm just so glad I'm able to be here and share in it. yesterday I was sitting in his room with maggie asleep on my chest and realizing that there really wasn't anywhere else on the planet for me to be that was more important than where I was. which is pretty great.

PEACE Quote

There is no reality except the one contained within us. That is why so many people live such an unreal life. They take the images outside of them for reality and never allow the world within to assert itself.
- Hermann Hesse

Houses and Art

I was just vacuuming in my dad's room and he asked me, "Whose house is this?"

"Jocelyn's house" I answered.

"No..." he said with a small smile.

"For real!" I said. "Jocelyn owns this house!"

He looked around and then indicated the two paintings of his dogs that my friend Nicole painted for him. "Oh. When I saw those pictures of my dogs, I knew I was home, but I knew this wasn't my home."

"Well this is your room in Jocelyn's home." I said confidently, and that seemed to please him. "My girlfriend Nicole painted these for you, do you remember that?"

"Yep... Those pictures have followed me all around where ever I've been it seems. Every place I go, those pictures are with me. From the hospital to the jail to here!"

"Isn't that wonderful?" I said. "Did you know that Nicole is pregnant? She and Matt are expecting their first baby real soon."

"THAT'S wonderful." Dad said confidently.

We're Here!

Maggie and I have arrived safely in Seattle. Dad seems to be really comfortable and happy to be home here at Jocelyn's, and it was quite wonderful to have seen everyone I have seen so far. The plane ride was fine, Maggie was wonderful, and I had a wonderful conversation with the woman next to me on the leg to Chicago.

I'll try to write more later.

PEACE Quote

One has to abandon altogether the search for security, and reach out to the risk of living with both arms.

One has to embrace the world like a lover.

One has to accept pain as a condition of existence.

One has to court doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing.

One needs a will stubborn in conflict, but apt always to total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying.


- Morris L. West

A Good Dog

This is a hard one to start. We put Rudy down last week. It was time, it was really time. Bless his heart. The whole experience was beautiful and peaceful and sad. Our vet, who we love, was so wonderful. She said it's the worst part of her job, but it may be the best work she does, that careful and calm and soothing sheparding she did to get us through. And our friend Matt from down the street was also so kind and generous to provide a beautiful final resting place for Rudy tooty fresh and fruity. I've never known anyone as well as I knew Rudy who is actually buried somewhere. it's kind of a comforting feeling.

I've also found that now that he's gone, all my memories of him have shifted so certainly to the healthy dog he was for so many years. I realize now how much of my feelings towards Rudy in the last little while were ones of guilt and annoyance and even resentment. When all he was doing was trying to get along in the world, play the hand he was dealt! How unfair of me.

I wish I had shown more compassion for his plight. And now that he's gone, my memory serves up only the good times, the healthy times, and it turns out - that sick little toothless gooey eyed stink bomb on the carpet was the same damn dog! the same damn dog.

So thanks for everything Rudy. You were a good dog.

HIS APOLOGIES

Master, this is Thy Servant. He is rising eight weeks old.
He is mainly Head and Tummy. His legs are uncontrolled.
But Thou hast forgiven his ugliness, and settled him on Thy knee...
Art Thou content with Thy Servant? He is *very* comfy with Thee.

Master, behold a Sinner! He hath committed a wrong.
He hath defiled Thy Premises through being kept in too long.
Wherefore his nose has been rubbed in the dirt and his self- respect has been bruised.
Master, pardon Thy Sinner, and see he is properly loosed.

Master, again Thy Sinner! This that was once Thy Shoe,
He has found and taken and carried aside, as fitting matter to chew.
Now there is neither blacking nor tongue, and the Housemaid has us in tow,
Master, remember Thy Servant is young, and tell her to let him go!

Master, extol Thy Servant, he has met a most Worthy Foe!
There has been fighting all over the Shop -- and into the Shop also!
Till cruel umbrellas parted the strife (or I might have been choking him yet),
But Thy Servant has had the Time of his Life -- and now shall we call on the vet?

Master, behold Thy Servant! Strange children came to play,
And because they fought to caress him, Thy Servant wentedst away.
But now that the Little Beasts have gone, he has returned to see
(Brushed -- with his Sunday collar on) what they left over from tea.

***************************************************

Master, pity Thy Servant! He is deaf and three parts blind.
He cannot catch Thy Commandments. He cannot read Thy Mind.
Oh, leave him not to his loneliness; nor make him that kitten's scorn.
He hath had no other God than Thee since the year that he was born.

Lord, look down on Thy Servant! Bad things have come to pass.
There is no heat in the midday sun, nor health in the wayside grass.
His bones are full of an old disease -- his torments run and increase.
Lord, make haste with Thy Lightnings and grant him a quick release!

by Rudyard Kipling

Maggie as Snow White

Yard Sale Finds 2007

Check it out. We found it this Saturday at a yard sale, covered in grime and dust. With a broken lightbulb thingie. I scrubbed it with a toothbrush and soapy water and Jeff rewired it and hung it in the porch for me. We put in a bulb and turned it on. Nothing. After a few seconds, Jeff shouted enthusiastically, "Happy Anniversary!" - my gift apparently, being a non working lamp. It was very funny.

Turned out it was a bum bulb, because check it out!!! Isn't it beautiful? Sigh. Makes me so happy to have it. I have been wanting something like this for just this spot in the porch and now I have it. With no compromises required. I love the bamboo design, how nicely it complements the trees beyond. Love it love love it.








And the price? just five dollars!

Rosie.com

Rosie O'Donnell has a blog, you know.

On this blog, she's begun to create video blogs pretty much every day. It started out with her answering questions from an "ask ro" section of her blog while having her hair done by this woman named Helene. Very casual and informal but real at the same time. Over the course of a couple weeks of this, people started to write in asking questions about Helene, and so she became more involved and the energy of the video blogs changed into something really entertaining.

Now it's Rosie, Helene and Janette, and they've all worked together for years, you can tell. They do their video blogs every morning, before the 9am meeting about that day's "View" show. So funny and real and sweet. Check them out.


Weekend Fix

Henry's Spring Concert

Henry had a spring concert last night, and he did wonderfully. So handsome and tall up there on the risers. I couldn't get a focused picture of the stage from where I was, but perhaps you can find him. Top row, wearing a blue t shirt with a tiger on the front...




His dutiful sister, watching proudly from the stands.



The post show afterglow.



And this one I got after the concert. Such a classic picture of brother and sister, don't you think? And maggie with her silly faces. This one is a new favorite, for sure.

PEACE Quote

Life shrinks or expands according to one's courage.
- Anais Nin

Tweet Tweet

Oh my goodness is it beautiful and gorgeous and crisp outside this morning! The birds are really showing up. lots of movement in the trees and different bird calls. Love it!

The squirrels are everywhere, also. This morning I saw that one was sitting in the gutter along the screened porch roof, digging around for stuff to eat! They are pretty much everywhere right now. Almost like an epidemic. you go outside and look in one area and within seconds you'll see one. Turn your head, and you'll see three more! Crazy. I'm starting to fantasize about dead squirrels hanging by their tail on long wooden sticks. And if I had a dog that had one shred of hunting instinct, I'm sure he (or she) would be going ape out there. All Kermit will do is perk his ears up and head down the steps in a spirited, determined way and then stop at the edge of the lawn (so his feet won't get wet or muddied unless they have to) and listens very carefully. Then he turns to chew on a blade of grass. No big deal.

Chucky Sue Returns!

We are expecting our third child! A total surprise. But we are pretty thrilled. The more the merrier, right? Maggie wants a baby sister and Henry wants a baby brother. Of course. We will take either, but we're not going to find out until the baby is born (around Christmas). We had definitely been heading towards a future that had only two kids in it, even contemplating my going back to work or Jeff going back to school, etc. All those things you can start to think about when your youngest is no longer a baby. But it would appear that there is one more little person coming to join our family, and so we'll count our blessings and get on with it.

I had been seriously contemplating going back to work full time, and had even made contact with a great company and had two terrific interviews with them. I found out I was pregnant in between the two interviews. D'oh! It's taken me until very recently to work through the crossroads I found myself at as a result of these two events. I was all over the map about it, imagining a future where I worked full time (for the first time since becoming a parent) and we had the two kids in a very well respected day care center here in town, and the whole family smoothly shifting from a homemaker based operation to both of us working and bringing home the bacon. Then I took the test (or, as Jeff put it, "Susie failed her pregnancy test.") and found myself facing a much more complicated, much more exhausting future if I tried to wedge a pregnancy and the uncertainty of returning from materinity into the mix. And I thought to myself, "blech."

Also I got to thinking about a day care solution for the summertime for the kids. And how Lanie and I have both been looking forward to getting the kids together a lot this summer and how all that would have to go on a shelf. To say nothing of my goal of returning to Seattle with the kids again this summer. And I thought about being pregnant and how nice it is to be able to close my eyes for a bit here and there when I need it, how at home I won't always have to power through the day (making myself more exhausted), burning the candles at both ends. so basically I realized that the job I really wanted was the one I was about to walk away from! The pay is crap, but you can't beat the perks, you know?

Anyway, that's the update. All this stuff was unfolding and I wasn't sure which way it was gonna go, that's why I haven't updated more regularly. I needed to get my story straightened out.

More later!

PEACE Quote

May the tree of our life
Be firmly rooted in the soil of love.
Let good deeds be the leaves on the tree.
May words of kindness form its flowers
And may peace be its fruits.

-Amma

Video of Flooding in Wilton

Sunday's snow had turned to slush and then it rained all night, so I was surprised to see that school was closed on Monday. Then I went outside and saw the small river pouring through the stone wall, down the side of our garage, across our back lawn and then into and through our fire pit.

Our dirt road washed out completely a few houses down the hill from us and around the corner one neighbor almost lost their living room to the torrent.

Roads all over town will need to be repaired or repaved after water completely overwhelmed the normal drainage system and dug deep channels next to them, undermined the blacktop. I don't look forward to next year's tax bill, though state and (supposedly) federal aid is on the way.

Route 101, the main east-west thoroughfare across the state was blocked by a landslide at the town line and even now, nearly two weeks later, all Rt 101 traffic is detouring through downtown Wilton, where a temporary traffic light (the only one in town!) has been set up. It's a mess at the commute hours. The hillside that collapsed is so unstable it may be weeks before it can be repaired.

Yes, that's a fish in the street next to Town Hall.

- Jeff

Can you find Henry in these photos?

Round 2 of our newest game here at Susie's minutiae. Can you find Henry in these photos? Good luck, because he's decked out in camo, head to toe!

Making Change for Good

My girlfriend Christine and I went into Cambridge last night to hear a talk by Cheri Huber, who I've mentioned here before. I would link to the posts I've written about her in the past, but I don't know exactly how to do it and BloggerHelp is unavailable. So go up to the search window up there and type in "Cheri Huber". That'll get you there. I just haven't posted in awhile and I want to get this out. Otherwise it won't get out.

Which was Cheri's point last night. She's a buddhist monk, from a big monastary (complete with hermitages!) in Northern California, and has written many books that have changed my life and the lives of others.


---
I am having to laugh right now... I'm trying to pull my thoughts together into something with enough power to perhaps get you to check out one of her books or search for past posts of mine. And I'm listening to Dave Matthews, whose music can make my emotions swell and my heart pound just from the sheer goodness of it all. And Maggie is standing at my feet telling me her favorite lines from her favorite movies, in attempt to entice me to play one for her. She wants to watch Madagascar. "Please? can I watch it please?! I really want to watch it. I like that part --" and now her voice drops a couple octives "I like to move it move it I like to move it move it!"

I'm having trouble centering my thoughts. Which was ALSO Cheri's point last night! But I know she'd be laughing too. Anyway. really good stuff. The title of this post is the title of her new book, and I will be checking it out for shizzle. You should do so also. You will thank me.

more later, I hope!

Stormy Monday

What a bunch of rain that has fallen today!




Here's behind the town hall, and is that a dead fish in the road?!



This is about a mile from our house. Yikes!

We get a visit in the night

Friday night, Henry observed the following:

Well, I saw my motion detector light go on outside. I thought there was a car pulling up. So I looked out my bedroom window and I saw a big black bear with a grey nose, but the tip of the nose was black.

I went to my parent’s room and said, “Mom! Dad! Call the animal patrol! There’s a bear outside!” We all ran back into my room and looked out the window. Luckily the motion detector light was still on, but we didn’t see the bear.

Dad ran downstairs. He looked out the porch window, turned the backyard floodlights on and here is what he saw:

Jeff observed the following:

I remember Henry saying it was a black bear. He swore that’s what he has seen and I know that Henry really knows his creatures, so I had no reason to doubt it. I crept down the stairs to turn on the backyard floodlights, which are not on motion detect and have to be turned on from the second-floor screen porch. I opened the door, switched on the outside floodlights, and listened. I didn’t hear anything, so I started tip toeing to the screens. That’s when I heard the footsteps start. And they were very close, it sounded like it was right underneath me. It must have stopped walking when it heard me or when the lights came on. But it didn’t seem in a hurry; the steps were very slow and heavy-sounding in the crunchy snow, like a human’s. It was heading out toward the back lawn, right where the floodlights shine. When I got to the screen, there he was, 10 yards away walking away from me! He had walked down along the west side of the house, and was now shuffling out onto our backyard lawn. We have seen small black bears crossing through our backyard before, but this one was big. Definitely full-grown. He turned back toward the house once or twice and the nose was just as Henry described. I wanted the others to see, so I ran upstairs just as he started heading across the back of the house toward the fire pit. By the time I got Henry and Susie to Maggie’s window, they only got a quick glimpse. Poor Maggie was almost asleep when we rushed into her room and turned off her princess lamp so we could see out the window, much to her chagrin.

Maggie observed the following:

It was very scary.

And I observed the following:

I saw the tail end of the black bear heading around the tree toward the fire pit.

Kermit gets his haircut

Well, sort of. We're not exactly finished yet. He looks like he's got big cowboy chaps on his front legs because he got so skittish about the clippers on his legs. And of course the little goatee he insisted on.

Here he is in the middle of his haircut:



Poor Kerm. bless his heart. Here he is just trying to put the whole experience behind him:



But it does make him a very popular cuddle buddy!

Can you find Henry in these photos?

I picked up some hunters camoflauge makeup from the still good table at the dump this weekend. Henry was thrilled. When I got home from going out for dinner last night, he'd showered and had his dad cut his hair. he had these very dramatic black eyebrows where he hadn't washed the makeup out - wish I'd gotten a picture of that!

Maggie is such a goof ball

If you ask her to smile for the camera, this is what she gives you:



This is a sweet little summer dress Maggie's Aunti Di sent her for her birthday. she really loves it - thanks Dian! I like this photo, how the center of it is in focus, and on the flower.

A word about Rudy and Kermit

Here is Rudy doing what he does nearly all day these days, laying around. He's a wise old man with many aches and pains, bless his heart.



And here is sweet Kerm. He's about to get a haircut one of these days. I noticed that this blog has just passed the 100th post mark, and that I gave Kermit his last haircut right around the time this blog got going! So Kermit's haircuts last about 100 blog posts. or about five months. not bad!



here is is after his last haircut. I love how his hair makes him look so different. Although I prefer the shorter look, myself. Makes him want to cuddle more.

Weekend Update

Well I had a great weekend. Jeff took Maggie up to Maine for the weekend (and they had their own good time), and Henry and I stayed behind. We went to see "Meet the Robinsons", which was such a great movie. Papa if you're reading this, you would love this movie. We saw it at Chunky's, which is a combination restaraunt and movie theater. We went with our good friends Bob and his daughter Emily.

Henry and I also went on a walk around sunset down to the farm. That was really nice. I'm trying to get caught up in Henry's jetstream of youth and vitality. I asked him to hold me accountable for getting outside each and every day, and the reconnection with nature and outdoors has been good for all of us.

Did anyone else notice the beautiful moon this weekend?



On Sunday Henry and I did a whole bunch of housework and I feel about two steps ahead as a result. Finally got the christmas tree hauled ito the woods (thank you Henry) and the swing back out onto the deck. a bunch of sweeping and hauling. I paid Henry ten cents for every item not found in nature he collected from the back yard (he made over 2.50!) and then another three bucks for other work too minute to mention here but certainly mattered to the overall goal. in the meantime I cleaned out the garage and got my piles set up for what will be several trips to the dump this week. the improvement in the garage is significant, let me tell you.

Jeff and Maggie got home mid day on Sunday, and he took us all out for ice cream after dinner. Another sign of spring in new england being the ice cream stands are open again (although it appears to be earlier in the season than ever before). I love mint chocolate chip in a waffle cone. you?

The kids play outside

These pictures are from sometime last week. Maggie was so thrilled to be out there, doing the same stuff as her big brother.