I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.
-Gilda Radner (passed away of ovarian cancer at age 42)
We had a wonderfully low key birthday for Maggie, and she had a great day, too. I figured it would be the last year we could get away with just the essentials, so that was our theme. a beautiful and totally delicious fancy cake on clearance from the bakery, homemade pizzas and pink lemonade, and a few different toys from the local childrens consignment shop. And just the four of us, which I think was my favorite part.
Maggie and Henry and I had more birthday cake the next day. Here is Maggie wearing her birthday gift from Henry. Purple Camo, naturally! 
“Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.”
Henry Miller (American Author and Writer, 1891-1980)
This afternoon I whipped up some puppets for Maggie to use when she plays with her puppet theatre. I had some paper dolls of the Royal Family from back when our friend Jon turned 40 an we used them as decorations, with his face where the Queen Mum was supposed to be. Was a very funny and effective little twist for his birthday party. I'll try to find one and then post a picture of it later.
Anyway. I cut out a bunch of the royal family, a few of their outfits, and then hot glued them onto chopsticks. The tabs on the outfits are too tricky for Maggie to manage successfully, so I put a little Vel- dot on the chest of each doll and it's corresponding -Cro dot onto the outfit, and now she can manage just fine. Although since I finished the dang things, she's not interested in playing with 'em. Go figure.
There is a giant tree clearing machine churning it's way through the woods near our house. Not the woods directly behind our house, but southeast of here. They're clearing enough space for something like 6 houses, so the Lorax machine is roaring and belching all day long right now. Sounds like a monster. I feel like a deer or something whose life changes forever the day that awful grinding sound came. It's usually so quiet out here in the country. I predict we will see a dramatic increase in wildlife in our little woods in the coming years as all that habitat is cleared away for McMansions. Boo.
Hi there... it's taken me a strange long while to get back to my blog! I guess I have a lot to say, but no idea how to say it!
We got dad settled into a nursing home on my last day in Seattle. It was a long, difficult day for me personally, but I had my oldest and dearest friend katie at my side every moment of the day, and she was so wonderful and good to all of us. When I tell the story of having gone home last week, I say that it was difficult and beautiful. Painful moments here and there, but also really beautiful and full of opportunities to grow and be human. And to see my family as we all live through this and care for dad, to see everyone's essential nature still firmly in place, my daddy included!, was just what I needed. I love everyone in my family so much.
I think I've hit upon why I've been hesitant to update my blog! I have a lot of gratitude to be sharing, with specific people in my life who are so fantastic and supportive and love me so much that they would do what they have done these last several weeks so that I could go back home for a week to be with my family during this time in our lives. It feels a bit like writing an oscar speech or something. I feel this intense need to call out names in a trembling voice while clutching a sweaty slip of paper that's covered in names while the band tries to play me off.
although in this case, it's a poopy diaper that needs changing. anyways. you know who you are, and I love you for it. Watch your mailboxes!
yesterday we took Jocelyn's dog Bo into visit with Dad at the hospital. Dad has really been missing his dogs, so we got him a couple of stuffed animal dogs that resemble dogs from his life. One looks like Toby, a dog from my teenage years, and another looks like the typical type of rat dog (as dad would call them) Dad would most prefer. He really responded well to them, even saying at one point, "When they see me in here with these things, they're gonna KNOW I'm crazy!" which is just so funny and so Dad.
so here are some pictures of the adventure. Brooke donated an old gym bag, which we cut a hole in for Bo Bo's head to poke out of when he was in transit. Popped him in, and he was ready to go!
Jocelyn and Brooke walking in to the hospital...
Jocelyn brazenly makes her way to Dad's room with her contraband secured.
And here are dad and Bo visiting. you can see how happy dad is here, I just love this picture. 
And another pic with mom in it this time...
Otherwise, things are going okay out here. The prognosis for dad is not the rosiest of pictures, but we are grateful for every tiny smidgeon of whatever there is to be grateful for. his doctor is a wonderful, caring man who knows both mom and dad well and counts dad as one of his favorite patients. The hospital has pretty much done all they can for him, and we are hopeful that he'll be able to get into a nursing home on Mercer Island within the next few days. Jocelyn and Mom and I went to tour the place yetserday and feel hopeful about the care he'd receive there. We'd tried to get him in there earlier in this most recent period of trials, but they hadn't been able to take him due to a concern about wandering off. Now that that isn't the case anymore, we're very hopeful they'll be able to admit him. So keep your fingers crossed, throw pennies in the fountains, send good vibes, say a prayer - whatever you can do!
My neice Brooke goes home today. It sure was great to see her. what a feast for the eyes! It's nice knowing I'll be seeing her all next week in Seattle, too.
I'm not sure how much I'll be posting next week. I know I'll be able to post if I want to, but will I want to is the question. Check back and find out, I guess!
That's a line from "Cinderella", another movie we watched recently. The stepmother greets Cinderella with this in the morning when the movie opens. It gave me a new, much needed perspective on how to manage my laundry. If you know me, and you picture my laundry room, you know what I'm talking about. For many years I have been very behind in my washing, and have always struggled with feeling resentful towards the collecting, sorting, washing, drying, folding, putaway of it all. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.
So I've made the effort to catch up on my laundry, and now I'm attempting to maintain the situation, and I'm learning a lot about what's required and how best to manage, etc. And for a week or so I was really struggling and thinking about how to smooth out the process. I cleaned up the room, organized the supplies more thoughtfully, and trained Henry to be my load switcher, and had been dealing with the collecting/sorting aspect of things. first I had three baskets up in our bedroom where the family was supposed to put their dirty clothes. but moving them down to the laundry room was a hassle.
So surfing the internet the other day, studying commercial laundry processes while watching cinderella with maggie, I heard the evil stepmother's less than warm greeting: "Collect the laundry, and get on with your duties, Cinderella." and it came to me. Every morning there will be yesterdays clothes to collect, and if I simply incorporate collecting those clothes from the bedrooms into a single laundry basket before heading downstairs, if I "collect the laundry and get on with my duties", I will have solved the problem most elegantly! When I get down to the laundry room, I can sort yesterdays laundry into my darks/whites/brights laundry baskets and then start the load that most needs doing. I can decide then if I need to power through a couple more loads or whatever, or I can call on my loadswitcher to work his magic and be done with it!
I'm sure more than a couple of you are chuckling to yourself, as I describe this fantastical new work flow concept that I seem so sure is the world's last original thought. But it's quite a revelation to me. and an example of how important personal revelations can be. you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink, in other words.
and walt disney movies.
Life is life's greatest gift. Guard the life of another creature as you would your own because it is your own. On life's scale of values, the smallest is no less precious to the creature that owns it than the largest.
- Lloyd Buggle, Jr.
Maggie really loves "Beauty and the Beast." and I have been feeding this love, left and right. she has a little Belle action figure that she plays with endlessly, she watches the movie itself regularly, she requests the storybook at bedtime, and we picked up the greatest hits from iTunes. "Be Our Guest" is such a showstopper. RIP Jerry Orbach, you really hit it out of the ballpark with that one. I would love to see a documentary about the making of the soundtrack to that movie. And dear sweet Angela Landsbury as Mrs. Potts, she also really gave it her all. And Cogsworth is a hoot, and Gaston. What a perfect villan. That song of his is so great, too. To say nothing of all the little jokes tucked in to the sequence in the movie itself. Good stuff!
The adults in the house have analyzed the script and story structure, however. And we have a few questions. First off, why the long goodbye after Belle sees her father in the magic mirror? She's not going off the face of the earth, just back to the village. You would think the Beast would tell her to come back, bring her back to the castle. Or that Belle would want to bring back her Papa to the castle. Enchanted objects being what they are, why stick around in the aforementioned quiet village with the provincial life and all? Get back to the enchanted castle, and bring your loved ones! And why didn't the Beast go with her? He shows up in the forest to save her from the pack of hungry wolves, plus her Papa had been chased to the castle in the first place by those same wolves, so wouldn't you think he would want to accompany her?
Regarding Mrs. Potts and her son Chip... at one point, she says to him, "off to bed with your brothers and sisters" and shoo's him into the china cabinet. brothers and sisters? what are their names? where they his brothers and sisters before the spell was cast? The enchanted spell perhaps turned specific people into household items (candelabra, clock, teapot, etc.) and then enchanted the remaining inventory of household goods via a different method, perhaps. it is also interesting to note that the enchantment certainly isn't contained to the magic castle boundaries. Chip the teacup hides in Belle's bag when she goes to rescue her father, the magic mirror works like a charm when Belle needs to show the villagers the hideous beast, Beat is able to use his Beastleyness to fend off the pack of wolves, etc.
Also, when she begins to see the Beast as a real person, why does she continue to call him that insulting name? He had a name before the enchantress cast the spell, and it couldn't have been Beast, you know? Although the enchanted objects appear to have the same names ("Cogsworth! Mrs. Potts!") after the spell has been reversed. But could it be that the guy's name was actually Beast before the spell was cast?
Anyways. We've got a new favorite working it's way into our hearts. My Neighbor Totoro, which perhaps someday I'll deconstruct for you just like I did here. Have a good day!
I feel like I have lots to say, but I can't seem to put much of it into words this week! I am thinking of my family back in Seattle almost constantly these days. My heart is firmly planted in two different places right now, that is for sure! I am very anxious to get back there next month, let me tell you. I spent yesterday going from window to window here in my house, staring pensively out into the woods, waiting for the phone to ring. When I wasn't staring out the window, I was on the phone to one or more of my sisters or my folks, calling to hear their voices.
sigh.
my neice Brooke will be out here for a visit before I head west on the 10th of February. I am literally wading through the days until I see her. She flies into Boston on the 2nd, and we are grabbing a hotel room and staying in the city for a night.
in other news, it is C-O-L-D cold here today. something like seven degrees not including the wind chill factor. I keep pulling together ideas that would get us out of the house today, but it is also so much easier and cheaper to just stay home. nevermind the fight both kids would give me about getting out of the house. those two love to stay home.
we have no weekend plans, although we do intend to attempt to install a patch of drywall in the downstairs bathroom. once that's complete, I'll be able to repaint it. I don't know if I'll get to that before or after I go to Seattle, but at least the wall will be repaired. In theory. Assuming all goes well.
okedoke, take care. think positive thoughts for my daddy, would you? thanks.
the kids are watching as much television as ever. there are subtle shifts occuring in behavior and choice making and time spending, however. and we were smart to move the location of the tv, I can certainly recommend that. the living room is now this nice oasis of quiet and relative calm. I love how it can look nice nearly all day with minimal effort.
The main benefit of having "killed" our television is that we aren't shelling out 80 bucks a month on it anymore. and like I said, the kids and I are gradually, slowly beginning to find new ways to spend time together. I've also given myself a schedule that helps me not to plant margie in front of the boob tube constantly. Everybody needs structure.
as for me, I'm really not missing the tv at all. I'm reading more, I'm getting more sleep, I'm connecting with my family more, my husband more. so no complaints from me. jeff has been so busy lately he hasn't hardly watched tv at all since we turned it off! he and henry watched '20,000 leagues under the sea' last weekend, I bet that's been about it for him.
but the best thing is we're not paying the 80 bucks. that's four yuppie food stamps!
if you know me, you know about my addiction to triscuits and cheese. I can get so addicted to a certain type of food that I'll just eat it and eat it and eat it and eat it. I think I have a powerful attraction to fiber. Used to be sugar, now it's probably fiber. I love crunch and I love a little salt or a little sweet.
When I attempt to break the cycle, cruising the snack cracker aisle I feel like a drug addict who's trying to stay clean. and if I'm stressed or looking to reward myself, I'll run out to the store and buy my little box of crackers and my block of cheddar and set out all my favorite tools for the job, and my little drug and then I take it. Seriously. it's like a drug. I could say more on this topic.
Anyway. There's a new fix on the street I've come to realize. Frosted shredded mini wheats. with skim milk. I tell you I could eat this stuff all day long. I DO eat it all day long. I've got to stop. It just can't be good for me. EVERYTHING IN MODERATION, doggone it! I first tried it because I thought I might like them onaccounta my thing for triscuits. And I figured if I did like them, it'd be a smarter choice than triscuits and cheese. fat grams wise. but boy howdy do I like them. too much!
But I feel huge. my intestines are packed with fiber, and my bottom system trumpets from dawn to dusk. bbbbrooooppppptt!
I've switched up the cozyroom even more than what you saw last! I brought the red couch from the porch in and put it along the back wall where that craft desk and clutter tower used to be. and I took all the alphabet flash cards down, too. I like them a lot, but the visual clutter had to go.
the craft desk is now cleaned off and under the window, next to the tv. this area gets wonderful light and we are all enjoying it in our own way. Henry likes to type on the typewriter I picked up at the dump, I've done some crafting at the table at night while watching trashy network television, and Maggie loves to sit on the desk and work her glue stick at her little trau table while I work on something at the desk. I really like this desk, very sturdy. I sort of wish it wasn't so massive, however. Anyway. what do you want for five dollars?!
what I want is to make it a dark cozy private den in the night time, because that vibe is very appealing to me too. eventually all the toys will make their way out of the room, and I put the dark red curtains I had in this room before back in. and the doors are going to be put back on soon, too which will make it extra cozy and private. The overhead light will have to go. I brought "dogs playing poker" from in the guest room up to over the red couch. I'd like to find a cozy shaggy rug, maybe some groovy lamps. and on the walls we could have a little display area for things we are proud of, maybe the collection of group photos the kids will appear in over the years. Perhaps a sports penant or two, vacation photos, etc. - can you see it? :-)
the living room needs window treatments of some kind. the walls in that room are bleak! We need to fix the drywall situation around the doors to the porch, and then that room will be in a position to shape up via paint and so forth. and to be able to play tunes in the living room would be so nice. I'm listening to music right now in the kitchen, and you just can't beat it for helping to maintain a positive energy and help you keep busy. right now I am loving dave matthews band.
I'll post pictures of the latest version of the living room when I have them...
She was crabbing about my wanting to watch the news while I folded the laundry, and I told her that when she grew up, she was going to want to be a smart woman who is able to speak on a number of current events, and that meant watching the news once in awhile. "I don't want to be a woman!" she cried out. I asked her what she wanted to be, and the first thing she blurted out was "a pink puppy!"
And I was able to show her this picture.
The only ones missing in these pics are me and Rudy! And that's a new slipcover I picked up at the JobLot for thirty bucks last week. I am not crazy about the color, but the functionality can't be beat!
Also, note the classic gender preferences evident in the dress of the children. Both are wearing their current favorite outfits, for sure.
Phew. Thank goodness! We were out of power for a bit of a while there. What a drag! Here are some pictures from yesterdays ice storm...
These were from the morning. It's so crazy how every single detail gets encased in ice. really beautiful. (if you're not stuck out in it, that is.)
I took these later in the day, as sunset neared. These are looking west, towards curtis farm.
