Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Liza Santerre

OH, where to begin.

My girlfriend Liza died last Friday. Only 48, isn't that rotten? Her husband Todd called me Saturday morning with the terrible news, and so my mind has been lizalizaliza.

I didn't cry about it all weekend, then on my way into work Monday, looking for a parking spot, it began to feel very real and sad. Monday night was uplifting because the wake they put together for her was like wading into a sea of her people.

Two of my friends from work went with me and we found ourselves laughing and crying and hugging Liza's brother, holding her baby nephew, trading stories with her family members - even meeting her mother! Looking into her brother's eyes was so powerful because they are Liza's eyes, you know? And her daughter and son were surrounded by thick crowds of caring friends, and her daughter wore a pink scarf and laughed and cried with her own circle. Oh, and the pictures!

There was a whole display of family photos and pictures from her whole life. VERY. TOUCHING. I grabbed a couple with my iPhone:

Look at those two pups! How sweet is that. Til death did they part.

Today, was her memorial service, which was short and sweet. Her dad was heart broken of course. Liza was not his first daughter to die too soon from cancer. He wept openly and spoke of his princess. A girlfriend of Liza's from way, way back got up and spoke very movingly. I got up, said a few words and recited a poem.

I told her dad that I would overhear her side of the phone call when he would call her each week, and how she would say into the phone, I love you too Dad. And that I knew a thing or two about good Dads and I would tell Liza how lucky she is to have her Dad around to talk to on the phone and that she knew it was true. He seemed to appreciate hearing that.

I read this poem, and folks seemed to like it. Another guy said sweet things quickly, and her husband Todd had some profoundly truthful and loving remarks about Liza that were so spot on. He was great, what a great guy.

After the service, me and three friends from work went over to have a couple of margaritas in Liza's name. That was really fun, and it felt good to laugh and toast to the old gal. Liza loved a good margarita.

And then I headed back towards home and stopped at their house for the friends and family thing. That was even more special. Everyone was so kind about my having spoken earlier, so welcoming and so at ease with each other in spite of the sadness of the facts. I felt comfortable and welcome. I especially enjoyed the private minutes with one of her sisters out in the driveway, and I was so happy to be able to take the first quilt Liza ever made, and will return it to them all finished. I will bring it in to work tomorrow and we will look it over and see what needs to be done. Her mom said she thinks it's just the binding. She sews, but she hates doing the binding. They were all really touched and happy to let me get it completed, it's a real honor. Luckily Kathy at work is going to help me out with it!

ANYWAY. I am exhausted. Like I said to my girlfriend Kristy, hug a sister! Liza was a surrogate sister to me, and I really loved her. One of the last messages she got to me was something on my Facebook page about how much I was going to love Dave Matthews in May. She loved her some DMB, and she had made me green with envy over her stories of concerts and live music she'd seen. So I'm glad she knew I get to go.

A real quick list of things that will make me think of Liza:

DMB
Margaritas
purple toenail polish
"Beyond Bizzah!"
the state of Maine
The Common Ground Fair
Jocelyn
Marcia
Dian

goodnight. peace, girl. r.i.p.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Susie, that was beautiful!!! You are a good friend!! You've got to stop this sad business when we live 1/2 our lives in "cubeland". You make me cry! I love you bunches!!!!

Anonymous said...

i am a disant friend who lost touch with them.i am sorry for your loss todd,what can i say,it sucks, anyways thanks dawn for bringing this ti my attention.and i will say a prayer for you lisa. . god bless you. Grant VanDemark.